Why Women Use Porn

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I recently read an article entitled "Why Men Use Porn" written by

Tony Stone

of RAAN (Reformed African American Network).

You can check that article out here http://www.raanetwork.org/men-use-porn/. 

There were calls by women for him to do an article on why women use porn, so I've decided to take a stab at it. I already know my reasons will be only a few of the many possibilities, and that this blog post may seem incomplete, or insufficient when it's done; but I still think it needs to be written, and hopefully it will help someone who wants to get their foot out of the porn trap.

Porn/Pornography definition: 

printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate sexual excitement. (Yes, this would even include some romance books and erotic literature a la "FiftyShades of Gray")

Women Use porn for many reasons. I will attempt to list some here:

#1. The deceptive belief that porn is a "safe" outlet for lust

I know someone just rolled their eyes, but I don't care. There is a myth floating around that men are the lustful ones and women are looking for love, not lust. Well, duckies, in some cases that is true, and in many cases it isn't. Some women are just as lustful as men, if not more lustful, and pornography is an outlet to gratify their desires. Many women harbor fetishes and secret fantasies that they wouldn't dare to pursue in real life. They convince themselves that they can explore these lusts "safely" through pornography, since it can be their secret and they aren't "harming anybody". 

#2. Because Society  tells them they should

Nowadays, porn is on everyone's hot talk list. Sexual liberals recommend it- especially for women. It seems that porn is the feminist's new boyfriend. They say," Who needs a husband when you have two hands and a computer?" They tell women, "Learn some new tricks"! "Discover what you like"! "Explore your fantasies"! etc etc. After a while, some women turn to porn because they buy into the hype.

#3. To see how they compare

Modern society has been training both men and women alike to objectify women. The message is disseminated subtly in movies where women look at each other's bodies with envy; commercials where women's body parts are highlighted and zoomed in on. The truth is, most modern women are constantly looking at each other, praising, deflating, and envying each other's bodies in their minds. Pornography provides a way for women to find out what the apparent standard for women's bodies are. Women figure that the porn-stars are the objects of desire, so their bodies must represent the beauty standard to be attained. 

"

Modern society has been training both men and women alike to objectify women."

#4. Curiousity

Honestly, some women get into porn because they are curious. They hear "porn this", "porn that", and they want to see what everybody's talking about

#5. To see what their men are looking at

Many women are girlfriends, wives, daughters, sisters of men with pornography addictions. Many of them struggle to understand what the pull of pornography is for the men they love. They wonder why porn has such a grip on these men, and decide to investigate. Further to this, especially in the case of wives and girlfriends, they are left feeling hurt by the fact that they aren't enough for their men. They wonder why their men have rogue desires that they fulfill with pornography, and furthermore, want to know exactly what their men are really into sexually. This need to " KNOW" often drives women to watch porn.

#6. As a source of pseudo intimacy

I know that some of you probably don't see how there could be a link between porn and intimacy. Porn is by and large the furthest thing from intimate, if you ask me. Yet, some women go to porn in search of intimacy. You see, sex was created by God as the most confidential form of "KNOWING" another person, and as such, the sex act is supposed to be a very intimate thing. Women especially are deeply emotional beings who crave intimacy. Some women, if lacking intimacy in their own lives, turn to porn in an attempt to feed off of the perceived intimacy being enjoyed by others engaged in sexual acts. It's a cheat move, really. They figure "well I don't have it, so I will get it vicariously".

#7 Sex Education

Unfortunately, sex education for women- I mean gritty, transparent, accessible sex education for women- is still pretty hard to come by. The world is gradually becoming less prudish, but the bulk of the "sex education" out there is being provided by the World System. The people who are teaching women about sex are teaching them all the wrong things;consigning them to lifestyles riddled with depravity and confusion (Beyonce's "Drunk in Love" comes to mind). The church has done a really POOR job at educating women sexually. Most times, Christians talk around the topic of sex, shrouding truth in G-rated jargon, and paltry mutterings in Christianese. Women are not taught of what to expect about their bodies, or about sex in marriage, and the like. Therefore, many women err and turn to porn for sex education, and sex education they do receive. They end up with more than they bargained for; minds filled with images and ideas that can never be unseen, or unimagined and guilt that only the blood of Christ can cleanse.

So what's the big deal with the above reasons anyway? Why should I be concerned as a woman if I watch porn?

1a. LUST is never SAFE.

Lust is like a bottomless pit. It is never satiated. The more we devour, the more we desire. When anyone feeds lust, it grows into a monster that never stops eating; eating you up inside and masticating your conscience.

 James 1:14,15 "

But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death."

1b. PORN is not a "harmless" way to explore your desires

. Jesus made it clear that the Christian's standards under the spirit are higher than the standards of the law. What you indulge in via thought, you are guilty of. 

Matthew 5:28."

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." 

2. Society's directives are NOT the driving force of the Christian

. The World System and the Kingdom of Heaven are in direct opposition to each other, and so are the commands from each side. The world tells you engage in illicit sex via porn, the Bible tells you the opposite. 

1 John 2:16  "

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world."

3. The system of exposing and comparing our nakedness is CONTRARY to Biblical truth.

If your read throughout the Old Testament, nakedness was always spoken of as something to be covered and kept private, unless revealed during sexual union of a man and his wife. In fact, the exposure of nakedness was always an illustration of spiritual barrenness and shame.

 Also, the image obsession of modern culture is not what God desires for the Christian woman. Our beauty comes from our inner selves. We need to safe guard against ideas being suggested to us that tell us otherwise.

1 Peter 3:3,4 "

Your adornment must not be 

merely

 external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 

but l

et it be

 the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."

4. CURIOUSITY KILLED THE CAT.

.and many people too

5.There are other ways to combat sexual addition in the men you love.

You don't need to know what they're into. Prayer is a powerful weapon. God who knows all and sees all is aware of  EXACTLY what they're into and He responds to your prayers. Pray fervently and fast for the men in your life if you become aware of porn addiction in their lives.

 James 5:16"..

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." 

Also, reach out to your local church for support. Elders and pastors that you can trust can be crucial and speaking to the man in question directly, and can support him in repentance and recovery from the snare of pornography

6. The truth is that INTIMACY BEGINS with GOD and trickles down into our relationships with people

. God Himself is three persons in one. He has perfect intimacy within Himself, and He created sex to teach us about oneness. True intimacy begins with knowing Him-the Source of all intimacy. Sexually, marriage is a perfect environment to foster intimacy because it sets a framework for two people to really BECOME ONE. Porn is a fraud as far as intimacy is concerned, because you join yourself serially with multiple partners via the filth you watch, while never truly becoming one with any of them. It is the ultimate counterfeit!

7. The BIBLE is the perfect source for sex education.

Yes, the Bible- I said it! Within its words, God lays out the blueprint for sex. He tells us how and when it is done. He gives us the safeguard of marriage because He knows that between a man and his wife, each sex act is education that extends way beyond the physical. They learn about each others souls, and get a better understanding of the type of communion that God experiences within His own person, and also the oneness He intends between Christ and the Church, His bride. When you realize the depth of what God's Word is attempting to teach you, porn as a source of sex education pales in comparison; becoming abhorent in its cheapness as its fallacious content is exposed.

Yes, there are many reasons that women use porn.

Whatever your reason is, as a woman, for using pornography, the Word of God provides a plethora of excellent reasons to

STOP!